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Love and Lupus

It can be very hard to open up to someone and tell him or her about your past. It can be even more difficult when there is a terminal illness in the mix. No matter how content you maybe with yourself, it can be very difficult to open up about a disease.

Dating for me as been ummmm a challenge. I took myself out the game for a minute to get to know me a little better. I needed to understand more about how I was feeling and the emotions I dealt with on a daily basis. I can officially say I’m ready to open up again. This time off I have learned a few tips that just about everyone can benefit from.

Just be honest: Any relationship you enter, the foundation must be honesty. Be honest about your intention with that person, issues, and past experiences. No I’m not saying let it all out on the first date but there needs to be some communication on the front end.

Open communication: No one can know how you’re feeling if you don’t say anything. I’ve learned this even with my Lupus. It’s important to be open and honest about your situation with any potential partner. There are days I can feel like crap (not look like it) and won’t say a word about it. The only way to get help is if you ask. “Have not, because you ask not.” Always stay open about how you’re feeling and thinking. It will make life so much easier.

Be patient: Give yourself and your date time to process all that’s taking place. Of course there is going to be a little hesitation in the beginning because there aren’t too many people that know anything about lupus. Explain in detail and let the rest happen in it’s own time. Remember the more questions, the better. (it means they are interested)

Fear and anxiety are understandable; just don’t allow it to control you. Also don’t allow your insecurities to settle, the right one is out there. I can go on and on about this but I’ll just stop here. Live, Love, Laugh 🙂

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Trust God

Growing up in a very religious home, I was always told to trust God through every situation. Well, I did. During every hospital stay, medication increase, hair loss, weight gain, and mood swing. There were moments I questioned if God was really there. I mean, why would he allow me to go through all this pain? Does he really love me? Do I matter to him? I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d done something wrong.
I needed answers, and you know God just wasn’t moving like I wanted him to. My issue, I wasn’t paying attention to God. I would pray and cry and cry and pray, but never took the time out to listen to what God was trying to show me. My impatientness (new word) drove me right into depression and frustration, all along God was right there. One day I heard him loud and clear on a Sunday morning at church. Not really wanting to be there, but I muscled up the strength to go anyway. I went through the routine of church, then the man of God got up and gave the text to his sermon. He read Psalm 119: 71 and it reads “it was good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn your statutes.” I knew then God was speaking directly to me. It felt like I was alone in the room and God gave him every detail of what I was dealing with. These words have stuck with me to this day, “if God didn’t intend for me to be nothing I wouldn’t go through nothing.” Tears flowed uncontrollably, but I knew it was confirmation.
The thing that we all much understand, no matter what may be going on in our lives, God is always there. Right in our troubling situations, he has never left.
So whatever you maybe dealing with, know that God is right there. Seek his face, and he will surely see you through any tough situation. Need encouragement, read these scriptures

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Psalm 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

These are just a few of my favorites, there are plenty more. Know him for yourself, you’ll be glad you did. 🙂

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